Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Damn This Day and The Rest Like Them...

I have been fighting back tears for three days. I knew what was coming and I didn't want to face it. I had to go to the doctor because my physical pain has escalated to the point that I was not able to complete the day to day activities most take for granted. I had to determine which side effects I will choose to live with so that I can still function......somewhat.

Side effects so that I can function. 

There are so many things wrong with that statement.

For me to be able to get out of bed, dress myself, feed myself, and hold the phone to my ear to speak (all things I've been struggling with the last three weeks), I have to choose which side effects I will live with.

*dry mouth
*decreased libido
*nausea
*vomiting
*anxiety
*tremors
*extreme sweating
*hot flashes
*constipation
*diarrhea
*mood swings
*headaches/migraines
*swelling
*difficulty sleeping
*weight loss
*weight gain
*loss of appetite
*increased appetite
*dizziness
*cough
*loss of strength
*difficulty urinating
*unusual drowsiness
*sore throat
*eye pain
*muscle aches
*loss of voice
*racing heartbeat
*pounding in ears
*back pain
*chest pain
*pins and needles feeling in extremities
*sneezing (this one may not sound bad till you realized we counted an average 400 sneezes in an 8 hour period, often with close to a hundred running back to back)
*painful urination
*swollen, tender prostate (well, don't have to worry about that one)
*groin pain
*tightness in chest
*teeth growing in unusual places (this happened in center of roof of mouth, though very rare)
*trouble concentrating
*cloudy urine
*loss of interest or pleasure
*depression
*irritability
*blurred vision
*clumsiness
*seeing double
*stabbing pain
*difficulty speaking
*dementia
*paranoia
*delusions
*confusion
*lack of coordination
*memory loss
*confusion
*trembling

Worst yet, I can't just go through and pick the side effects I'm willing to live with. Each medicine that MIGHT help me has it's own set that typically includes one of those "How will I live that way" side effects.

I'm tired.

Bone weary.

My body has held me captive for 13 years and there is no cure, no release, no freedom from pain. The only time I have not been acutely aware of my pain was when I was under anesthesia.

Tonight I swallowed a pill. Tonight I swallowed a second pill to counteract the severe nausea the first pill will cause me.

Tonight, I feel,


DEFEATED.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

T1D Aspie : College Dreams




Check out what this guy's dreams and ambitions are!

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Keegan. I turned17 years old a month ago. I have Aspergers which is a form of Autism. I also have Type 1 Diabetes, which was diagnosed September, Friday the 13th, of last year. Since I was 4 years old, I've had serious immune system issues that specialists have not been able to accurrately diagnose. Since they haven't been able to diagnose me, you can't treat an undiagnosed illness. That means that I can't really get the help I need. For me personally, it means I get exhausted easily and sometimes end up in hospital for large amounts of time. I get sick easily also. Something really cool is that I have Situs Inversus Totalis. This means that all my organs are on the opposite side. For all you Trekkie fans out there, Situs Inversus plus Aspergers means I'm a Vulcan because with Aspergers I think very logically. I also suffer from migraines (from mind melding too much). I have severe allergies to everything environmental (everything that has to do with outside such as trees, flowers, grasses, hays, molds, etc). Except penicillin.
Because of my Aspergers, I don't have common sense. So I joke around with everyone about it. When I do something that doesn't makee sense, people say, “It's not rocket science” and I say, “If it was rocket science, I'd get it!”
Because of Aspergers and my health issues, I have a hard time concentrating and I get distracted easily. I also stay pretty weak. This makes it hard for me to get a job, attend a full course load in college, drive, and take care of my own needs.
My dreams are to go to college so that I can have the knowledge to create video games. I want to create fun video games that will help people with special needs develop the skills they need in real life. For example, a game that will teach them to interact with neuro-typicals. Or, the game might help them to undersand facial expressions (we have problems with that). I want the games to be an exciting game that you'd find on a top seller list.
Also, as I sale these games, I will donate a percentage of profits to different non-profit organizations that help kids with special needs such as Aspergers, Type 1 Diabetes, Cerebral Palsy, etc.
As of today, I am OFFICIALLY enrolled in college. I have enrolled in an Associates Degree progam in Simulation and Game Design. I am excited. But, I don't have everything I need for college. Our family does not have the money needed to get my stuff for college. I also have a pell grant but it's not enough to cover everything I need. It will cover tuition costs though.
In addition to tuition, I also need the following:
*Basic school supplies (binder, notebooks, pencils, pens, sketch pad, etc)
*A computer that ideally will have an i7 processor, a nVidia 850 graphics card, and at least 16gb ram. This is needed because of the work we'll be doing in class on the computer.
*Transportation costs to get back and forth to the campus
*An external hard drive to back up all data
*Books for courses
I feel kind of bad for asking people for money because I never do. I am used to living on what little funds we do have so I can't really get the stuff I want or need. I really want to go to college because it will be something I can do that will help me make money and that I can do while resting (so I don't get to worn out). I will also be able to make money so I can help others instead of people offering to help us.
Any amount of money will be of help. Thanks in advance for helping out. Once able, I will always help people out.
Any extra funds that are left over in my educational fund when I'm done with my degree will be donated to anybody else I find that has special needs and needs help with college.
Thank you for your help in following my dreams.
Sincerely,
 Keegan Duffy


PS. My courses start on the 18th and I hope to have all supplies before then!
- See more at: http://www.youcaring.com/tuition-fundraiser/t1d-aspie-college-fund/215548#sthash.ijQ1bBlD.dpuf
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Keegan. I turned17 years old a month ago. I have Aspergers which is a form of Autism. I also have Type 1 Diabetes, which was diagnosed September, Friday the 13th, of last year. Since I was 4 years old, I've had serious immune system issues that specialists have not been able to accurrately diagnose. Since they haven't been able to diagnose me, you can't treat an undiagnosed illness. That means that I can't really get the help I need. For me personally, it means I get exhausted easily and sometimes end up in hospital for large amounts of time. I get sick easily also. Something really cool is that I have Situs Inversus Totalis. This means that all my organs are on the opposite side. For all you Trekkie fans out there, Situs Inversus plus Aspergers means I'm a Vulcan because with Aspergers I think very logically. I also suffer from migraines (from mind melding too much). I have severe allergies to everything environmental (everything that has to do with outside such as trees, flowers, grasses, hays, molds, etc). Except penicillin.
Because of my Aspergers, I don't have common sense. So I joke around with everyone about it. When I do something that doesn't makee sense, people say, “It's not rocket science” and I say, “If it was rocket science, I'd get it!”
Because of Aspergers and my health issues, I have a hard time concentrating and I get distracted easily. I also stay pretty weak. This makes it hard for me to get a job, attend a full course load in college, drive, and take care of my own needs.
My dreams are to go to college so that I can have the knowledge to create video games. I want to create fun video games that will help people with special needs develop the skills they need in real life. For example, a game that will teach them to interact with neuro-typicals. Or, the game might help them to undersand facial expressions (we have problems with that). I want the games to be an exciting game that you'd find on a top seller list.
Also, as I sale these games, I will donate a percentage of profits to different non-profit organizations that help kids with special needs such as Aspergers, Type 1 Diabetes, Cerebral Palsy, etc.
As of today, I am OFFICIALLY enrolled in college. I have enrolled in an Associates Degree progam in Simulation and Game Design. I am excited. But, I don't have everything I need for college. Our family does not have the money needed to get my stuff for college. I also have a pell grant but it's not enough to cover everything I need. It will cover tuition costs though.
In addition to tuition, I also need the following:
*Basic school supplies (binder, notebooks, pencils, pens, sketch pad, etc)
*A computer that ideally will have an i7 processor, a nVidia 850 graphics card, and at least 16gb ram. This is needed because of the work we'll be doing in class on the computer.
*Transportation costs to get back and forth to the campus
*An external hard drive to back up all data
*Books for courses
I feel kind of bad for asking people for money because I never do. I am used to living on what little funds we do have so I can't really get the stuff I want or need. I really want to go to college because it will be something I can do that will help me make money and that I can do while resting (so I don't get to worn out). I will also be able to make money so I can help others instead of people offering to help us.
Any amount of money will be of help. Thanks in advance for helping out. Once able, I will always help people out.
Any extra funds that are left over in my educational fund when I'm done with my degree will be donated to anybody else I find that has special needs and needs help with college.
Thank you for your help in following my dreams.
Sincerely,
 Keegan Duffy


PS. My courses start on the 18th and I hope to have all supplies before then!
- See more at: http://www.youcaring.com/tuition-fundraiser/t1d-aspie-college-fund/215548#sthash.ijQ1bBlD.dpuf
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Keegan. I turned17 years old a month ago. I have Aspergers which is a form of Autism. I also have Type 1 Diabetes, which was diagnosed September, Friday the 13th, of last year. Since I was 4 years old, I've had serious immune system issues that specialists have not been able to accurrately diagnose. Since they haven't been able to diagnose me, you can't treat an undiagnosed illness. That means that I can't really get the help I need. For me personally, it means I get exhausted easily and sometimes end up in hospital for large amounts of time. I get sick easily also. Something really cool is that I have Situs Inversus Totalis. This means that all my organs are on the opposite side. For all you Trekkie fans out there, Situs Inversus plus Aspergers means I'm a Vulcan because with Aspergers I think very logically. I also suffer from migraines (from mind melding too much). I have severe allergies to everything environmental (everything that has to do with outside such as trees, flowers, grasses, hays, molds, etc). Except penicillin.
Because of my Aspergers, I don't have common sense. So I joke around with everyone about it. When I do something that doesn't makee sense, people say, “It's not rocket science” and I say, “If it was rocket science, I'd get it!”
Because of Aspergers and my health issues, I have a hard time concentrating and I get distracted easily. I also stay pretty weak. This makes it hard for me to get a job, attend a full course load in college, drive, and take care of my own needs.
My dreams are to go to college so that I can have the knowledge to create video games. I want to create fun video games that will help people with special needs develop the skills they need in real life. For example, a game that will teach them to interact with neuro-typicals. Or, the game might help them to undersand facial expressions (we have problems with that). I want the games to be an exciting game that you'd find on a top seller list.
Also, as I sale these games, I will donate a percentage of profits to different non-profit organizations that help kids with special needs such as Aspergers, Type 1 Diabetes, Cerebral Palsy, etc.
As of today, I am OFFICIALLY enrolled in college. I have enrolled in an Associates Degree progam in Simulation and Game Design. I am excited. But, I don't have everything I need for college. Our family does not have the money needed to get my stuff for college. I also have a pell grant but it's not enough to cover everything I need. It will cover tuition costs though.
In addition to tuition, I also need the following:
*Basic school supplies (binder, notebooks, pencils, pens, sketch pad, etc)
*A computer that ideally will have an i7 processor, a nVidia 850 graphics card, and at least 16gb ram. This is needed because of the work we'll be doing in class on the computer.
*Transportation costs to get back and forth to the campus
*An external hard drive to back up all data
*Books for courses
I feel kind of bad for asking people for money because I never do. I am used to living on what little funds we do have so I can't really get the stuff I want or need. I really want to go to college because it will be something I can do that will help me make money and that I can do while resting (so I don't get to worn out). I will also be able to make money so I can help others instead of people offering to help us.
Any amount of money will be of help. Thanks in advance for helping out. Once able, I will always help people out.
Any extra funds that are left over in my educational fund when I'm done with my degree will be donated to anybody else I find that has special needs and needs help with college.
Thank you for your help in following my dreams.
Sincerely,
 Keegan Duffy


PS. My courses start on the 18th and I hope to have all supplies before then!
- See more at: http://www.youcaring.com/tuition-fundraiser/t1d-aspie-college-fund/215548#sthash.ijQ1bBlD.dpuf
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